Aaaah I think I am having a crisis (or at least damn well trying my hardest) Help me, I am unbearably, happily married and its so de rigueur, unfashionable and downright boring. In marches the summer heat and out march my girlfriends hearts… all my girlfriends are leaving their boyfriends getting divorces and having sordid affairs, and here I am feeling ‘miserably’ happy. It’s just not fair! I long for the miserable days of waking up around noon with your hand still clutching the vodka bottle you stole from the bar man on the way home from some random party you crashed after you were thrown out of the other one at 5am, having no idea how you got in your door, leave alone onto your bed, still in all your cloths but miraculously without my make up on, (I have some strange neurosis about taking my make up off before bed and to this day have only ever once woken up with it on, and no that will not be blogged about)….the long painful days of telling random strangers your life story, sharing the pain, writing insipid awful poetry, and having every excuse to start drinking at breakfast…aah for heart ach and misery, what sweet memories.
Anyway girls this one goes out to you. You cool, swinging, happening young things-to the beauty in the heart ach and vodka for breakie!
Phew…just called hubby and he has said we can get a divorce. Its all gonna be ok we can split up, and I can be hip again. Apparently the way to start it is with ‘ I love you BUT..” he explained to me that this is what you hear before the blow of ‘I am leaving you comes’….He was very forthcoming with this information and very quick to oblige me with a divorce for a week…am beginning to wonder if he has ulterior plans…that perhaps my house is already full of strippers and gambling (gosh sounds rather fun actually!) No wonder everyone is splitting up, it really is tres cool. OK well now I am officially a single gal…am just gonna call the ‘ex’ hubby and find out if I can come over and join the party…is that cheating? If so who am I cheating on? This is getting really confusing; my brain is beginning to hurt. All I need now is to start writing terrible poetry and I am almost there! Right?
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