crack cocaine vs scones

Feeling very proud of myself this morning, i DON'T have a hangover AND i have already done 3000 PC and its only 11 am...i am off to a good start today! Unlike yesterday...it took me 40mins to form a thought by which time i had no idea what it was about, i only managed 1500 PC the whole day. I blame the whole state of affairs on a certain friend of mine (yes Rhydian, you know who you are...oh actually so does everyone else now, sorry!) We met up at 5pm for a quiet Sunday evening glass of prosecco (its my new thing, have decided champers is chav, and chav so before Mad Men era, i guess that means its whisky that's in, God am i glad i hadn't formed that thought by last Sunday ) and cheese board all very civilised, still daylight i thought 'i am safe' But a little devilish part of me, lurking in the depths of my psych, the little monster at the back of my brain new only too well the for gone conclusion on the evening....yes, 7 hours, 5 bars and 15 drinks later i managed to crawl my stairs, roll thru my door and fall at the feet of my sweet hubby who tried to feed me and water me and help me get the tooth paste on the toothbrush as i waxed lyrical on the world and Rhydian and my plans to change it, starting on our figures...we have come up with my new diet plan it consists of eating packets of lettuce (as if they were crisps) smoking menthol cigarettes and not a lot else..oh yeah if we fall of the wagon and are tempted to actually eat something of substance then we should turn to crack cocaine i hear its marvelous for slimming down! (mum, not to point out the obvious but that is a joke, OK not a very funny i give you that) This is all in preparation for the dreaded "love scenes" coming up in my new film. I had to go thru the very surreal process with my agent of deciding exactly which butt cheek they are allowed to film at which angel and for how many seconds, it gets very specific- thankfully, you will never get more than a few seconds, no frontals and def no body doubles- think i may just get my full kit off on the day to scare everyone...actually that depends how the lettuce and crack cocaine diet is going and if i have made it back to my Pilate's class...that was the one other achievement of yesterday, i joined Ten Pilate's out of fear. Anyway today is a new bright day without hangovers or Pilate's classes...So am popping into Dean Street Hotel to celebrate with tea and scones with lashings of cream and jam...yes there is probably some contradiction in there somewhere but i cant see it at the moment...xxx