Add Some Bubbles And All Will Sparkle...

Ok fine, I will admit it, it is kinda beautiful in NYC in the snow. As I walk home at night, out of the cozy bistros of west 4^th street, where everything is white except the sparkling lights from the bars and restaurants. There are no cars on the streets, just huddles of beautiful young people laughing and smoking and having fun. All is magically and Christmas like, without the pressure and trauma of Christmas, yes its OK, I suppose! A couple of glasses of sparkly and nothing can flatten my mood, not the miserably acted and terribly told Bosnian war play I just saw on 42^nd street ( almost as painful as watching a Brits do Tennessee Williams) nor the fact that I have just ruined new fave suede boots in snow sludge…life is beautiful when it is covered in cotton wool and for that I am grateful, who cares that bellow the pristine beauty of perfect white there are sacks of rubbish and dirty sidewalks, tonight it glistens with snow queen sparkles and NYC shines bright and white ….and someone, god bless them has made a path to my door. Sweat dreams. Rxxx

Baby Its Cold Outside

What the hell am i doing and WHY am i in the coldest place on earth in the middle of a snow storm?!!! There is a large reward for anyone who can answer me this question. Its actually become so absurd that i went to leave Shaz's house this evening and fell back inside the door in fits of laughter, i couldn't get back out there for 10 mins, i think hysteria has finally set in. I know what Captain Oates felt like before he uttered those famous words " i am going outside, i may be some time" (well kinda anyway, am not dying of hunger and ready to eat my own arm or anything-Yet!) the snow and wind and lightning are all just so over dramatic that i feel like i am on set and the affects team have gone a bit loopy. I spend the first half of the day thinking about and planning down to the most meticulous detail, my trip downstairs and a cross the street to Starbucks, which shoes will be best.. the fur boots are warmest but the wedges give me a platform out of the snow, the NYC 'duvet coat' is the lightest but the good old Joseph sheepskin the best defense against the storm...hmmm which hat... i like the black flapper one but the cap is more durable though i always pull it so far down over my eyes that i bump into people and in NYC that hasn't been the most affective way of making friends...OK now the gloves... they have to be thin enough that i don't have to take them off to get the key in the front door but thick enough for my hand not to freeze if i have to hold the phone to my ear whilst outside...i swear by the time i have made all these decisions its time for lunch anyway so i ditch all Starbucks plans and make mad dash back to Soho House, thank God, its right next door ( yes i am a sad creature of habit, i can be anywhere in the world and SH is where you'll find me, with my laptop and vino in the corner) where i stay till dinner time only budging for a steam at cowshed to warm the bones, i swear if it wasn't for Nick i would have died long ago. Like Captain Oates and Scott, walked out into the snow not to return...Have actually found new hangout, for those few hours between lunch and dinner...when i get really adventurous and leave SH i cross the street to the Mac store. Its become my fave place to meet people...its really warm, has Internet connection, lots of people in blue t-shirts to do things for you and loads of toys to play with and you can pretend you are working at the same time, its perfect! Made two new BFF's today...not only that i am becoming a whizkid at computer programs as i keep finding myself in classes...learnt how to do things on my mac today i thought were way beyond my golden tresses. who knows maybe snow is good for me and i am gonna find i am a nerdy genius at ...i don't know...erm.. at something. Anyway what was i saying...ah yes: WHY am i hear in NYC in January? i honestly have no idea and am totally open to suggestions! xxx

Oops this one missed the post!!!! Lost In The Hollywood Hills

I have lost track of time, time zones, my location on the planet and most definitely any brain cells I had…just realized I have been in LA for 2 weeks -I literally thought it had been about 5 days….it was actually supposed to be 2 days but on my way to the airport I got a call booking me on an amazing movie with Al Pacino, where Sienna Miller plays my mum…don’t ask how that works…but it does! Since then I am not quite sure what I have been doing…I know it took me the first week to figure out that my ‘keyless car’ actually meant I didn’t have to use the key…I know it sounds kinda self explanatory but I didn’t get it…I can actually keep the key in my hand bag and never take it out…the car just knows when I am near by…it’s genius. Then I had to navigate the parking and why every time I park outside the front gate to my darling hosts house the neighbour sends me notes calling me a ‘dick’, at first I thought he was signing them Dick, so I bought a pretty card to right back saying ‘Dear Dick I am so sorry to have caused…’but someone pointed out that there was no full stop between the words ‘I will have your goddamn car clamped’ and the word ‘dick’…hmmm.

My magnificent hosts B&H who kindly offered to put me up for the weekend (amongst moving in themselves) have had to endure my bit by bit take over of the top floor to their house, there is no longer a ‘guestroom’ it is now 'Rosie’s' room. I think they began to worry when after the first 10 days I started to unpack, they could tell I was really here for the long haul…that and the fact that hubby is coming over to ‘collect me’ …don’t mention it to them, but he is moving in too! I mean, how and why would anyone go home to London in December when its 26 degrees here?? We spent the whole of yesterday laying by the pool, reading the New York Post (its my new fave pass time and the only way I get any insight into world affairs… please forgive any missed world disasters but don’t worry I do know that Lindsey is out of rehab and went shopping yesterday, so all is well!) I am actually being educated here, B has an encyclopedic knowledge of art, amongst many other things and the most gorgeous collection, we have been unpacking his beautiful pieces and there is nothing more wonderful than hearing his awe inspiring gasps at the their beauty as he unwraps each painting like it was an unexpected and long awaited xmas gift, and he talks about the artist and the personal story to him that each piece holds…and then we choose its next resting place. H has worked day and night with meticulous attention and style to create a beautiful home around me and my suitcases…why he thinks I will ever leave now I am not sure!

H & I snuck out for sneaky pedi this afternoon, my toes are bubblegum pink…am now thinking in character as the film I am making is all improvised, we have no script, so with no lines to learn I just pretend that anything I want to do is character research….’Love this new way of working- definitely think my character has daily massage, lays by pool and eats lots of homemade ice-cream (H has taught me or at least I watch as he makes it and somehow manage to take half the credit!) Rxxx

Anita..

Hello my lovelies...I have had so many sweet msgs asking 'why the silence, what has stopped my ramblings?'...Well i have to say i have been completely floored, silenced and knocked for six by the loss of my dear and darling friend Anita, who passed away suddenly whilst I was filming in NYC. She was my inspiration as a woman and one of the most vibrant and alive people I have ever known. She was one of the few people that knew everything about me and still loved me! She was independent and sexy and fun. She had been thru so much in life and come thru smiling, gracefully with class and beauty and a wicked sense of humour. She encouraged me to use all my strengths and not sell myself short, she gave me a faith in my abilities as a person and my strength as a woman. The week before I left London I had dinner with her twice and on the last evening I saw her we sat in her car,in the poring rain, and we giggled and giggled, we laughed so much, she had a gorgeous dirty laugh, full and deep and wonderful. Anita had this amazing ability to listen and draw people’s stories out of them, she would meet my friends and know more about them by the end of the evening then I did in knowing them for years. I just cant fathom how she is not here and I feel so selfish in my grief, so desperately sad that she wont be here to guide me or advice me or gossip with me. I know it shouldn’t be about me and that death is larger than any of us but I just wanted more of Anita... I know she is someplace amazing dancing in the breeze but I feel so mad at the world for taking her away from us and at not getting to tell her how much I love her before she went. I always felt like i could make more sense of things after having spoken about it with Anita, she shed a kind of light on things that i didn't understand and brought things i thought were beyond me down to a human level that was very manageable. I miss her and wish she could talk me thru this one. Darling Anita you are as alive in my heart today as any other day and will be for as long as I live. Rxxxx

Who stole my hangover?!

Feel like I am having far too much fun to be feeling as good as I do. I have been surviving on an average of 3 hours sleep a night, every morning as I wake up I pause to feel the weight of my decadence hit me…but it doesn’t. I have somehow side stepped hangovers and lack of sleep grogs…maybe I am OLD!!!! As a kid I remember wondering how my mum would get up so early every morning without fail and seem to feel fine…don’t they say…you sleep less as you get closer to the grave…(not that you are mum!) maybe I am dying, maybe that’s why I feel so good!

I left work at 3am last Friday and caught the 7am flight to Miami for fabadoo sleep over at the new Miami Beach House…knowing I only had 18 hours to enjoy the decadence I felt it imperative to not loose a moment…so the fabulous C and I started on the Margaretta's the moment we arrived. We dragged our Margarita glasses thru the House from the Cowshed to the beach and up to the pool deck, till we rolled into our room to prepare for dinner, having had a quick mani pedi and blow dry on the way. During pre dinner prep we called the ingenious invention of Nick’s ‘One While Changing’ (cocktail barman with full trolley to your bedroom!) slipped into a cocktail dress and down to Cicconis for scrumptious meal and then hit the dance floor. Yes, literally in my case, fell smack bag onto my back off my 5inch platforms, luckily I was anesthetized by that point, wasn’t till the beach next morning, after my Grumpy Cow wake up massage in the cowshed, that someone pointed out my shoulder was rather badly damaged, ah for war wounds. 'Always make me feel like I musta had a great night! I then dragged myself away from the rest of my motley crew nursing themselves on the beach, preparing for hog roast lunch with bloody marys, and caught the 4pm back to JFK to arrive in the Hamptons in time to grab a few hours before being on set for 5am….wrapped at 7pm in time to hot foot it over to my darlingest friends B&H for home cooked dinner in their Hamptons home, where we ate drank and were very merry!!! Where is my hangover???I have been robbed! Has it been stolen away by age and maturity….seeing as i am obviously acting so mature these days! Rxxx

Attack of the Pumpkins

Forgive me Cyberspace for I have sinned…it has been over 2 weeks since my last blog and all my followers, yes all 28 of them are feeling neglected and anxious for news on my exploits, intelligent banter and insightful comments on society and the world at large…at least in my dreams!

Hey Guys, I am here in New Jersey starting my second week of shooting, I have an old stocking over my head with 50 bobbi pins stuck into my scalp and a dead rat sitting on top (in other words a wig) imagine what it feels like having your head clamped into a vice 14 hours a day and you get close…at least it makes all the crying I have to do in this film easy, they are tears of sweet pain…other than that all is jolly…I have had sex with a bear, given birth to a clone and killed my own baby…all in days work eh!

NJ is so American its hilarious, I walk around thinking I am in a movie, which I am, but I mean when I am not in the movie…if you know what I mean…the leaves are all golden and red, there are white picket fences everywhere, the local bank is in a white wooden house and the church is the size of a shopping mall…And there are pumpkins everywhere, in everything…pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, pumpkin salad, we had pumpkin bloody gnocchi for lunch. i don’t have the heart to tell them I hate pumpkin! The problem I find with pumpkins is they just cant make up their mind if they are sweet or savory (did you know that they have no idea what savory means here? I keep asking for savory snacks and the poor 3^rd assistant doesn’t dare tell me he has no idea what I am talking about so brings me more chocolate, I of course don’t want to offend him so am having to eat an awful lot of M&M’s) anyway I just cant get on with a vegetable that doesn’t know if it’s a vegetable or a fruit, just make up your mind already, be in a pie or in a curry, you cant be in both! And that’s not even mentioning the fact that they have faces carved in them and are put on every available surface…enough with the bloody pumpkins please! Sorry, I think the bobbi pins are digging so deeply into my head its affecting my brain…or what little is left of it…oops am being called..laters.Rxxx

rare diseases, lollipop sticks and the general down fall of womenkind

Went to see Dr Katz “Physician To The Stars” or just ‘the Dr that signs the insurance papers”, however you wanna put it really. I sit there in his sweltering lobby in 30 degrees of smog, filling out 50 pages of medical history. Forms always make me feel like I am lying ’I MUST have some rare genetic decease that is gonna kill me, cause there are just so many of them… I mean what the hell is Celiac disease? It sounds like a vegetable! (By that I mean a fruit like vegetable, not like people that have Celiac decease are vegetables, of course they might be cause I have no idea what it is, I mean I may have it myself, I may be vegetablizing as I write) anyway the answer to all these questions cant be NO, surely…Am I lying? Am I dying? Or just loosing my marbles in this heat….?

I suddenly get a cool waft of air and look up to see a very stern looking (slightly over weight for a health preacher in my opinion!) Dr, saying “Ms Fellner?” I follow him into his beautiful, air conditioned office (typical he lets his dying patients swelter whilst he luxuriates in the cool air or it could just be broken, am not sure at this point paranoia has set in too deep) I perch on the edge of a chair nervously waiting for him to scream at me “LIAR, You know you are dying” as he calmly flips thru my forms. After what seems like an insufferable length of time he looks me strait in the eye and says “Why do women think just cause they see a gyno they are healthy?” I am so confused I am speechless…Am I dying? Does he know something I don’t? Is it a trick question and I am gonna fail the medical and not be insured if I get the answer wrong? I tentatively say..”erm…I don’t know???? He then preaches for a good 10mins on the downfall of women kind and their failings in the health check department and how they are lazy and ignorant about how to take care of themselves …he suddenly stops looks back up at me and says “So, when was your last full medical assessment?”….At which point I start stuttering and babbling about things being maybe…erm different in the uk…? He stops me short and says “Bottom line? When were your bloods last taken?...I.. erm..I..I..i just couldn’t remember under the pressure! He finally gives up on the questions cause he knows and I know, I have already failed him, in so many ways, manly by just being a women, and any answer I do come up with is gonna be unsatisfactory and a plight on his male intelligence. He says “Never mind, I have often diagnosed many an unknown, life threatening problem in my medical examinations here” as he ushers me towards the examining table. Oh God I think, this is it, I am gonna die before I even get to start my new job…he then sits me on the table, puts a lollipop stick in my mouth, shines a torch in my ear, takes my blood pressure and job done- full bill of health in 30 seconds!!!!!